Template: One Sentence Product Pitch

We offer  (your product or service) which helps (your customer) do (what your customers want in their words).
Example
 
“We offer a monthly tea subscription which helps busy professionals create more moments that matter.”

Template: Copywriting Story

Back when I was [self-deprecating incongruous phrase],
I desperately wanted to [do something clearly outrageous and unattainable]…
but I [was hobbled by something].
This provided the best possible lesson: [lesson, phrased as an idiot lucking out].
What does this mean for you? Simple: If a moron like me can succeed, then you can, too.
Example
Back when I was a worn-out road comic with no money and less business smarts, I desperately wanted to move to Hollywood and start earning big bucks writing sitcoms. The fact that I’d never written a script in my life made it a bit awkward when friends introduced me to agents who asked to “read my spec”. So I went out and bought the most lamely titled book on the subject: How To Write For Television by Madeline Dimaggio. It proved to be exactly what I needed. No complex psychology behind 4-dimensional character development. Just the facts, ma’am backed up with solid examples. Turned out I had a knack for sitcom writing. I borrowed a neighbor’s computer with scriptwriting software (comes free with a Los Angeles driver’s license) and single-finger typed my legal pad scribble into something that looked like a real pro piece of work. The jokes weren’t too bad either. I never did get the gig I wanted at the time, but I did get a lot of positive feedback from producers and most importantly, fell in love with writing… which proved prophetic in my second life as a copywriter.
What does this mean for you? Simple: If a broke-ass hippie comic like me can grow the seed of a new life after reading one boring book and jamming out a spec script, then you can do it, too.