A Mother’s Reflection

How did I get here?

I’m sitting in a large hallway that is filled with mismatched chairs. In these chairs are nervous parents. Some are working on their computer, some are knitting, most are on their phones. I’m one of those parents. In this hallway there is a gray door labeled 202. Behind the door I hear beautiful piano music. It’s not a concert though, or someone just playing for enjoyment.

Behind that door is 30 teenagers chasing their dream of attending NYU Tisch.

The audition started an hour and half ago. Finleigh lined up first and grabbed the audition number 1. This doesn’t surprise me one bit. She went in right at noon, an hour before the audition started, and I haven’t seen her since.

I guess I got here because we encouraged our little girl to chase her dreams. We told her that she can do anything she wants.

So, here I sit on this cold, sunny day in NYC. This little girl of mine wants to live in NYC, study at Tisch and follow her dream of becoming a choreographer.

The thought of this totally terrifies me. I can’t even begin to imagine her living a “plane ride” away from me. How will I protect her? How will I keep her safe? Who will her friends be? Will she meet nice people? Will she get homesick?

This is where I have to sit back and know that while Finleigh is my child, she is a more importantly a child of God. He knows her heart, her passions and where she is best suited.

So here I set, clinging to the belief that God knows where she should be this fall. What He wants is best. Period. It does give me great peace knowing that as much as I love her, He loves her so much more.

I have been praying for the last hour for her to shine, takes risks, be present, for His will to be done-and that we will be at peace with it.

Of course I want her to get a call back. She has her solo prepared and I know she will do amazing. So, I’ll sit and wait until the gray door opens…

She made it through!