Are you a cook?
Have you ever found yourself browsing recipes endlessly for something interesting to make?
Maybe you like the pictures. Maybe you like the thought of putting a beautiful meal on the table for your family. Maybe you’re searching for the perfect meal to make for that special dinner, but can never find just the right thing.
Whatever your reason is for continuing your search for the perfect recipe, what good is all that browsing if you never cook the meal?
I’m guilty of gathering recipes but never going the extra step to make them come to life. I know lots of recipes. I can see lots of great meals landing on my table. I can hear the subtle mmmmm as my friends and family take to tasting. But, it’s not real. It’s imagined.
Maybe it’s not recipes that you’re consuming. Maybe it’s books on starting a business or how to play guitar or how to fly fish or how to run a marathon. Reading is not running. Finding is not fishing. Books are not business. Perusing is not playing.
Go create what you’ve been consuming.
That’ll be $3.85, would you like to leave a tip for your server today?
My server stood smiling at me. Eyes locked on the pen and receipt they just handed me to sign. I waved the pen over the tip line, buying an extra second as I thought about whether or not to tip.
There’s a line for a tip, does that mean there’s an expectation to tip? They just grabbed my bagel and handed me a cup to fill my coffee up myself. What will the server think if I don’t tip? What if that’s how they make money in this gig? I don’t want to be the only guy who doesn’t tip.
What is a tip anyway?
From my vantage point a tip, or gratuity, is money offered for the value added to the item being purchased. From the server’s vantage point, it’s incentive to provide good service. It’s an exchange of value. The sticking point is that I as the purchaser have the opportunity to determine what that value is in balance with social norms.
Don’t tip. You’re rude.
Tip too little. You’re cheap and offensive.
Tip too much. You’re generous, excessive or maybe you’ve made a mistake.
Tip what’s customary. You’re safe, but come on, couldn’t you have added a little more?
Tipping is not only an exchange of value, but it’s also a statement. It’s in this statement that lies a tension. A tension to uphold or deny what you believe about yourself and what you want others to believe about you. It doesn’t seem fair or logical to the server, that my propensity to tip is not about their service, but has more to do with what I want them to think about me. Maybe it’s just me.
Does your morning routine at the office consists of first getting coffee and second getting to work? Do you arrive at your desk, put your bag down, then head to fill up your coffee cup first thing?
Try reversing that order. First do something meaningful and then second get your coffee. Earn that cup of joe. Repeat.
Getting straight to work signals that you mean business to your brain.
Where are you?
What are you feeling?
What are you thinking?
What are you thinking about doing?
What are you doing?
Performance = Motivation * Ability * Environment
Dissatisfaction with the current situation * Vision of what could be * Clear first step > Resistance to change
(Authenticity + Vulnerability)*Credibility = Trust
Finleigh – “When are you going to take Drivers Ed?”
Bella – “Ed, who is Ed?!”
What we hear is not always what was meant to be heard.
I’m 6’4″ and in the way.
I slumped my shoulders, bent my knees and leaned forward on the chair in front of me. I don’t want to be the guy who ruins the view and experience of the people behind me.
The room of 2,000 people all stood to sing in church on Sunday. Rising to my feet, I realized I was head and shoulders over most people in the first few rows. I looked around and behind to see whose view I might be blocking.
I adjusted my posture to take into account the view of those around me. Was this humility? I was putting others before myself, yet I was not honoring myself and was ashamed of my tallness.
I adjusted my posture and stood tall reminding myself that this is who I am.
What are you adjusting to accomodate the experience of others?
I just returned an REI backpack that I fully intended to use as a running backpack.
I bought it a month ago. I never ran with it. It still had the tags on it.
It’s been sitting in my office. Staring at me every morning when I walk in. “Hey, take me running! That’s what you bought me for.”
It gets worse.
I’ve been wanting to get back into running for awhile. Like months. I just haven’t found the “right time”.
Oh, I know! I will make it part of my commute that will save me some headaches and time. First, I need a backpack though, so I can carry my stuff that I need for work on my run commute.
Let the research begin. Meanwhile, I’m still not doing the thing that I really want to do. Run.
Research disguised as procrastination.
Finally I bought the bag, but it sat there. I never committed. I just soaked in buyers remorse every morning when I saw it. The voice inside my head, hey your’re not running. So, I put the condemning little backpack back into the store where maybe it can be put to good use by someone who is ready to commit.
I’m going to have some ice cream.